Random Thoughts Of Somebody Who Turned a Quarter of a Century Old

Happy Birthday to my most favorite person in the world, next to my family and old friends of course!

Sounding like a righteous narcissist, right? I know, I know.

But bad jokes aside, I honestly don’t know how to start this post. What do you exactly say when you turn 25? Not that I’m nostalgic of my younger years (Ahem!) nor am I particular about numbers but it’s just that when I really take time to think about it, it still stuns me to realize that I have existed for a quarter of a century (Sabay-sabay: Huuuwaaaat!!!!!!?). Yes, I am that old so that makes me a perfect subject for Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest! (I can hear somebody murmuring: The doomsday for the scientific community is coming. Beware! Ahahaha!)

But really, what and how should you feel when you turn 25? I never really gave it much thought nor was I prepared. But I guess nobody really is. The last time I remembered, I was just an awkward high schooler and before I knew it, I’m stuck in this very confusing albeit adrenaline-rush inducing grown-up world which sometimes makes my heart thumping erratically, making those extra weird lub-dub’s.  I have this crazy theory that perhaps, everyone is stuck to being 16 forever, only that life gives us bigger responsibilities that we go about pretending, or probably the right word is assuming, the role of being a grown up. That’s what’s happening to me, I appear to be cool and composed, but I still have the same passions and fears and worries and crazy antics as when I was 16.

So, how should I deal with being 25?

1. UNICEF ad? Ah, hindi ba? Ahahahaha! 2. No side comments please. We all have those awkward high school photos. 3.  Pacute-cute daw para ibigin. Ahahahaha! *wink*

When I was a 6-year old, I surely didn’t know what will I be at this certain age nor could I probably comprehend what 25 is when it was years and years away! All I was worried about at that certain age was to think of tactics on how to escape my “forced” afternoon naps, dancing the “lambada” (Oh my! So 90’s.) and singing some school songs in order to get whatever amount that I could from my doting family members (See the word: extortion. Ahahaha!). Life was simple then.

I surely didn’t have any idea about being 25 when I was an elementary kid. All I worried about was my declamation contests and science camps and quiz bees. At that time, I thought the world revolved in those things, and if that was the case, I had everything. Why should I dare look beyond something that was incomprehensible to my 11 year-old mind?

High School was a different case. When you are 16 and the whole world is at your palm, when the possibilities are endless, that’s the time when you feel that you can do everything. We did all feel invincible at that stage, didn’t we? There were just images of the future that I conjured, but the future was still soooooo far. Why should you worry about being 25 when you are 16? I didn’t.

University life was like being thrown into a grown-up world only that in the end, you would realize that it didn’t even come close to being in the “real” grown-up world. At that time, I felt that my possibilities are still too endless, I started making abstract plans of the future. Some of those plans became concrete, some remained as that. Abstract.

Life happens. In between being 6 and 25, it might not be that noticeable but it does happen. I got my heart broken into innumerable pieces, many times---that I thought I needed a new one. Seen my bubble of pride bursting surreally right in front of my eyes when it’s the only thing that was left of me. I was painfully pruned and broken and remolded. Yes, I have every right to claim that I am 25 in every way but what’s amazing about all of these is that I also have the choice over the age of my heart. And I claim that it will be 16 forever----that means it will forever love passionately, fight fearlessly if needed, hurt without holding back, and beat not mechanically but erratically.

So I turned 25 today, and there’s no turning back. 

In rare moments from the past, I thought that at this age, I would  probably be married or have a kid of my own (Oh boy! I know right?*cringe* Not that I don't like kids. I luuuuuuv kids but I still couldn't imagine having my own at the moment, now that I'm really thinking about it.) or living a quiet and stable life of teaching kids 'til I'm wrinkly and cranky(For rhyming's sake lang 'tong word na ito! Ahahaha!). 

And reality check, at 25, I’m definitely not yet married (NBSB, hellooooooo? Ahahaha!) and kids are still way out of the question, absolutely. My life’s still a bit shaky and I’m still very uncertain about the future, very much like when I was 16. But what’s different is that I’ve learned a lesson or two about life that may just come in handy the next time I’ll be needing them. But for what it’s worth, it’s a life worth celebrating about----a life faithfully blessed by an awesome God, a life filled with love from family and friends, a life with endless possibilities of learning new lessons, of helping and touching the lives of others, of going to distant places, and of loving as much as I could.