This thought keeps on bugging me for several months now. There are moments when I would ask myself "You're slowing down, so what now?"
But what is ironic is that despite the doubts of changing my course and definitely, my pacing, I'm completely overwhelmed with the feeling of calm knowing instinctively that I am at my proper momentum and speed at the moment------not the overly "go-getter-too-idealistic" that I was years ago and definitely not the type who is "too-idle-to-do-and think-about-anything-in-particular-so-I'll-just sit-here-and-wait-if-what-will-happen-to-my-life-in-passing".
I think all of this change in pace started 2 years ago when I made a conscious effort of walking more slowly,since I am a terribly fast walker and I was just punishing no one but myself, and I decided to give just a bit of rest to my ever non-complaining, ever reliable pair of legs (which slaved for almost four years way back in college. NOTE: this requires another write-up.).
Surprisingly, what started out as a "walking reorientation" led to a major life-pace change (which can be traced again from the fact that I seem to loose track of just about anything and end up somewhere I did not plan to be in the first place. Voila! Talk about life's surprises.). It also made sense because at that moment, I was already too tired of all the stress and drama, and definitely the useless competition that I have seen for twenty years (or so) of also being too competitive, causing all those stress and drama to myself and to others as well. So at that point, when people my age are just starting to learn the "art of mindless competitions" a year fresh out of college, I was at the exact point of giving it all up.
Surprisingly, what started out as a "walking reorientation" led to a major life-pace change (which can be traced again from the fact that I seem to loose track of just about anything and end up somewhere I did not plan to be in the first place. Voila! Talk about life's surprises.). It also made sense because at that moment, I was already too tired of all the stress and drama, and definitely the useless competition that I have seen for twenty years (or so) of also being too competitive, causing all those stress and drama to myself and to others as well. So at that point, when people my age are just starting to learn the "art of mindless competitions" a year fresh out of college, I was at the exact point of giving it all up.
But let me just make it clear, I wasn't and I couldn't, not even if I try, give up my dreams or my goals. It's the rushing to get there that I gave up.
Speed could make everything pass in a blur, take it from someone who knows, someone who's been there.
With my current pace, yes, I may arrive just a bit late to wherever I am getting into. But I am holding my time and I refuse to set it in anybody's time zone or standards.
Plus, I just remind myself, I have the advantage of clearness of view which speed could seem to diminish.
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